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There was a Lebanese man, an Israeli man and Shakira sitting together in a train.The train went through a tunnel and as there was no light,the train became very dark Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Shakira and the Lebanese man were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Israeli man had his hand against his face as he had been slapped there.
The Israeli man was thinking: The Lebanese fella must have kissed Shakira and she missed him and slapped me instead.
Shakira was thinking: The Israeli fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Lebanese man and got slapped for it.
And the Lebanese was thinking: This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel, I'll make another kissing noise and slap the Israeli bastard again.
Lebanese Mr Bean
BRAIN TUMOR:
Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)
Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr. Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?
Doctor: Then why are you so happy?
Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!
Lebanese mothers
Mrs Awada comes to visit her son Ali for 3 days in London where he is studying. She finds out that her son lives with Vikki, a female roomate. Mrs Awada got very suspicious and this had only made her more curious. Reading his mum's thoughts, Ali volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Vikki and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Vikki came to Ali saying,"Ever since your mother left, I've been unable to find the shawarma maker. You don't suppose she took it do you?" "Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Mother,
I'm not saying that you "did" take the shawarma maker from my house, I'm not saying that you "did not" take it. But ever since you left back to Beirut, it has been missing.
Love,
Ali
Several days later, Ali received an email from his Mother which read:
Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Vikki, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the shawarma maker by now.
Love,
Mum.
The moral of the story is: Don't Lie to Your Mother... especially if she is Lebanese.
A random guy asks an American, a Lebanese, and a Syrian the following question: "What's your opinion on electricity cuts?"
